| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3 4 5 6] | Ever been stalked at KudoZ? Thread poster: Yasutomo Kanazawa
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Yasutomo Kanazawa 
Japan
Local time: 08:04
Member (2005)
English to Japanese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER | Finally made up my mind | Aug 25, 2009 |
Hello everyone,
I would first like to thank you everybody who put in their precious time to respond to my topic. All of them were helpful in making my decision.
I have consulted some other people outside of this forum regarding this issue, and I have come to the conclusion that I will ignore this person. I've thought of writing to A personally via Proz email, but I had second thoughts about that, since even if A had responded to my query, there is a chance that A may no... See more Hello everyone,
I would first like to thank you everybody who put in their precious time to respond to my topic. All of them were helpful in making my decision.
I have consulted some other people outside of this forum regarding this issue, and I have come to the conclusion that I will ignore this person. I've thought of writing to A personally via Proz email, but I had second thoughts about that, since even if A had responded to my query, there is a chance that A may not be honest enough to reveal the real motive and say something like "Well, I couldn't stand seeing you entering wrong answers and therefore I wanted to tell you the correct answers" even though A's real intentions were to harass me or something else. If A states that, then there is nothing I could do further, except that I could insist on asking A to reveal the truth, but that could turn messy and maybe ugly.
I was really amazed that many people took interest in the topic which I posted on the forum (I had more than 150 visits including same people accessing several times since posting), and I realized that many of you were following the updates regarding this issue. I'm not sure if anybody else at Proz has posted a similar topic in the past, but I realized that I was correct in posting mine to let others know this kind of thing can happen to anybody.
Although I didn't take Tomas's advice, I would especially like to thank him for pushing my back to suggesting writing to A which really made me think seriously what I should do about this problem I have been facing for the last two months.
And also to Lingua 5B for his well-thinking, and the others who contributed their time and power to reply to my forum.
Best regards
Yasutomo Kanazawa ▲ Collapse
| | | | | You will never know... | Aug 25, 2009 |
Yasutomo Kanazawa wrote:
I've thought of writing to A personally via Proz email, but I had second thoughts about that, since even if A had responded to my query, there is a chance that A may not be honest enough to reveal the real motive and say something like "Well, I couldn't stand seeing you entering wrong answers and therefore I wanted to tell you the correct answers" even though A's real intentions were to harass me or something else.
Well, you now will never know... :-/
Good luck Yasumoto.
| | | | Erik Freitag
Germany
Local time: 01:04
Member (2006)
Dutch to German
+ ...
Yasutomo Kanazawa wrote:
there is a chance that A may not be honest enough to reveal the real motive and say something like "Well, I couldn't stand seeing you entering wrong answers and therefore I wanted to tell you the correct answers" even though A's real intentions were to harass me or something else. If A states that, then there is nothing I could do further, except that I could insist on asking A to reveal the truth
[italic emphasis by me]
Just for the sake of fairness: there is something else you could do further, which is to accept that A might be expressing his real intentions that way.
| | | | | The final result: Very unfair | Aug 25, 2009 |
efreitag wrote:
Just for the sake of fairness: there is something else you could do further, which is to accept that A might be expressing his real intentions that way.
Exactly. All in all, this whole posting was a failure from the beginning because (as time has shown) there was never a sincere intention to solve the matter... if the was a matter of course... and let the accused person express his point of view. In total, very unfair in my opinion.
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Lingua 5B
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Local time: 01:04
Member (2009)
English to Croatian
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| Good decision Yasutomo | Aug 25, 2009 |
Yasutomo Kanazawa wrote:
I have come to the conclusion that I will ignore this person.
Good, I am glad to hear you have made the right decision. Save your nerves and time for better things. Eat sushi, do yoga and take a good sleep! And never let mean persons get to you. You will do best by ignoring them, because when you engage in a pointless argument with them, you both lose. You don't need that.
Yasutomo Kanazawa wrote:
I'm not sure if anybody else at Proz has posted a similar topic in the past
The fact nobody posted about it doesn't mean it never happened to anybody. I am just using the law of probability ( 100, 000 + users?). I have worked in different environments and unfortunately, NONE was fully devoid of pathological individuals who wanted to harass their colleagues or put land mines under the feet of others ( metaphor). I truly wanna believe no single user on the entire vast ProZ is like that. I also believed in Santa Clause by the age of 8 or 9.
Anyway, good decision. Remember: never ever react. Be consistent in this and you will see them slowly withdrawing hungry and exhausted not having received your reaction. You win. The greatest paradox is that they will very likely "kill" their own self, like a scorpion, and put themselves in trouble with such behavior. It's almost a guaranteed outcome. You just need to be patient enough and wait to see it happen in some time.
Maybe it's also good to know that you will likely find such people anywhere you go or wherever you work. It's important to learn how to deal with them.
| | | | Yasutomo Kanazawa
Japan
Local time: 08:04
Member (2005)
English to Japanese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER | The truth won't be revealed | Aug 25, 2009 |
Tomás Cano Binder, CT wrote: efreitag wrote:
Just for the sake of fairness: there is something else you could do further, which is to accept that A might be expressing his real intentions that way. Exactly. All in all, this whole posting was a failure from the beginning because (as time has shown) there was never a sincere intention to solve the matter... if the was a matter of course... and let the accused person express his point of view. In total, very unfair in my opinion.
Dear Tomas,
I'm sorry to disappoint you Tomas, but there is nothing I could do about this matter. Have you noticed that there were people who accessed my Kudoz answers to find out who I was talking about, showing all the statistics or particular KudoZ questions posted right here in this forum and deleted in less than 30 minutes?
If it were possible, I would have named this person whom I called "stalker" from the very beginning, giving you examples of the stalking to avoid everybody spending their time making wild guesses. But revealing the identity of the culprit is against the forum rules, and I had the sincere intention to solve this problem in my own way by asking my colleagues including you for suggestions which you all kindly did. Therefore, I mentioned this person as only "A" even without revealing this person's gender.
Regarding the accused person, like I wrote above, A will never reveal one's own intentions that A was stalking me all along. If A admits that, I could submit that to the Site Staff to prove that A has been stalking me all along, and put one's own status in jeopardy. Tomas, come on, if you were in the stalker's shoe, would you honestly admit that? And would you come to this forum and tell everybody that you were the one who has been stalking me? Stalking is a crime like Giuliana pointed out. You can jeopardize your status at Proz.
| | | | Gina W
United States
Local time: 19:04
Member (2003)
French to English
| I disagree that it was a failure | Aug 25, 2009 |
Tomás Cano Binder, CT wrote:
All in all, this whole posting was a failure from the beginning because (as time has shown) there was never a sincere intention to solve the matter... if the was a matter of course... and let the accused person express his point of view. In total, very unfair in my opinion.
I think it is unfair that you are insisting that Yasutomo comply with your SUGGESTION (not a command or an order, right?) to contact A. Personally, as I posted early in this thread, I have felt "stalked" (a word which was taken way too literally by some on this thread!) by someone in my language pair. I don't consider that the person would have anything constructive to say to me if I emailed him to ask why he can't leave me alone. I can't see why Yasutomo has to email A, particularly if A's tone is not exactly inviting. What exactly would A respond? That it is his/her "right" to post whatever s/he wants? Which is true to a point, but come on, that doesn't make it the right thing to do, nor does it make it constructive.
This thread is NOT a "failure from the beginning". I took this thread to be a place where others could RELATE to Yasutomo. I'm not sure I've fully seen that, though.
I also think that Yasutomo's reply to thank you was most gracious. No one is obligated to follow another person's advice.
JMO!
| | | | | The world is in desperate need of frankness | Aug 25, 2009 |
gad wrote:
I think it is unfair that you are insisting that Yasutomo comply with your SUGGESTION (not a command or an order, right?) to contact A.
Of course it is not a command or order. I never intended it to be. But I think that what the world needs desperately is frankness: if you feel someone is acting wrongfully against you, the first step in my opinion is to face the person and explain your side of things, thus making sure you are not misunderstanding the situation and also giving the opportunity to correct a behaviour that disturbs you.
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Yasutomo Kanazawa
Japan
Local time: 08:04
Member (2005)
English to Japanese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER | Thank you Lingua B | Aug 25, 2009 |
Lingua 5B wrote: Yasutomo Kanazawa wrote:
I have come to the conclusion that I will ignore this person. Good, I am glad to hear you have made the right decision. Save your nerves and time for better things. Eat sushi, do yoga and take a good sleep! And never let mean persons get to you. You will do best by ignoring them, because when you engage in a pointless argument with them, you both lose. You don't need that. Yasutomo Kanazawa wrote:
I'm not sure if anybody else at Proz has posted a similar topic in the past The fact nobody posted about it doesn't mean it never happened to anybody. I am just using the law of probability ( 100, 000 + users?). I have worked in different environments and unfortunately, NONE was fully devoid of pathological individuals who wanted to harass their colleagues or put land mines under the feet of others ( metaphor). I truly wanna believe no single user on the entire vast ProZ is like that. I also believed in Santa Clause by the age of 8 or 9. Anyway, good decision. Remember: never ever react. Be consistent in this and you will see them slowly withdrawing hungry and exhausted not having received your reaction. You win. The greatest paradox is that they will very likely "kill" their own self, like a scorpion, and put themselves in trouble with such behavior. It's almost a guaranteed outcome. You just need to be patient enough and wait to see it happen in some time. Maybe it's also good to know that you will likely find such people anywhere you go or wherever you work. It's important to learn how to deal with them.
Thank you Lingua B for your constructive and perceptive comments.
Like I wrote above addressed to everyone, I consulted some of my colleagues which led me to this decision I made. And it's very interesting that one of my colleagues has pointed out exactly the same thing as you did, "The greatest paradox is that they will very likely "kill" their own self, like a scorpion, and put themselves in trouble with such behavior. It's almost a guaranteed outcome."
And I firmly believe in "what goes around comes around".
| | | | hazmatgerman (X)
Local time: 01:04
English to German
Dear Sir/Madam:
after some absence I have seen this thread today, and because this use of "stalking" was new to me looked up some of the questions in my language pair (E-D). What little experience I have on this site has taught me that disagrees or neutrals are almost always a good reason to reconsider what I have written, and possibly make amends or provide new/better arguments. I've (I hope) not taken such comments from other translators personally but rather liked their taking the time ... See more Dear Sir/Madam:
after some absence I have seen this thread today, and because this use of "stalking" was new to me looked up some of the questions in my language pair (E-D). What little experience I have on this site has taught me that disagrees or neutrals are almost always a good reason to reconsider what I have written, and possibly make amends or provide new/better arguments. I've (I hope) not taken such comments from other translators personally but rather liked their taking the time to look into the question and contributors' arguments. So IMO any comments are worth being taken seriously and professionally, not personally.
As regards agrees I have a different view, for my impression is that sometimes a bandwagon effect works. So I've come to discount agrees unless accompanied by arguments.
Hope this helps.
Best
[Edited at 2009-09-02 11:51 GMT] ▲ Collapse
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